RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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