I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
