I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
