You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize