Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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