I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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