Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
