you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
