Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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