and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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