Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
