He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
