OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize