In the future we'll all be gay
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i now understand why vodka
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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