how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
