Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
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I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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