we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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