just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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