I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
