As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You are a genius and a whore.
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