I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
and you fell through a lawn chair
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize