in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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