i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
