I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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