The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
