this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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