The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
