we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
