Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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