Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize