theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
