saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
