she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
