How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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