Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
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Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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