I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
