dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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