at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
