Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
