Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
