So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
