I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
