In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
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I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
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I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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