There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
worst night to have a conscience
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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