Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
