it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
