This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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