Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
