She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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