I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize