I can text with my tongue
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
