It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
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Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
tell me about the eggs
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