All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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