Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I won the penis lottery.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
