Nicole vs. Life
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
