a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
