somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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