i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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