Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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