I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
