dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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