I'm really into asian looking animals
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
