so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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