I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
