by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
